R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Send us your Text From Last Night!
My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
