look no pants
Send us your Text From Last Night!
A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
That's intense
Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
