You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Randomize