When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
