"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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