It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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