Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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