people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize