Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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