I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Randomize
