My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Randomize
