In the future we'll all be gay
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
