Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Fuck me I smell like cheese
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
