So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
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