I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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