got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
