Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
