so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
