we're blogging at a bar
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
