didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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