I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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