Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize