there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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