while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Randomize
