The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
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