I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Randomize
