spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
