trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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