Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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