I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize