dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Randomize
