weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
I just googled if crying burns calories
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Randomize
