how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
