So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
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