Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
