Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
