The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Randomize
