I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
