I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Randomize
