had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
