so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Randomize
