I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
