i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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