and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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