So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
