sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Randomize
