I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I need to calm my uterus...
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize