It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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