I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize