The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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