What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Send help, water and tortillas.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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