the new term for farting is butt boxing.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
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