are you still at the devil's house?
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I did not marry a roomba.
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