I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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