i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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