They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Randomize
