i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
