To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
