I like my sex mixed with concussions.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
false alarm, still single
Randomize
